This River by James Brown
Author:James Brown
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781582438740
Publisher: Counterpoint Press
Published: 2018-05-15T16:00:00+00:00
At the time of this altercation, I am bench-pressing 350 pounds. I am squatting over 400, and have, according to Paula, no visible neck. At 5’8”, I weigh 195 pounds, nearly all of it muscle, no small achievement for a guy who only ten months earlier topped the scales at a mere 150.
It would be convenient, in terms of a psychological profile, to suggest that my obsession with muscle stems from an inferiority complex related to my short stature. But that would be only partially true, for it is a combination of factors that fuel my passion, among them middle age. At forty-two I feel that I’m losing my edge. I’m not as energetic. I fatigue more easily and my sexual drive isn’t what it used to be. To compound matters, I have, for the better part of my life, strayed as far from the path of physical and mental health as one possibly can without entirely self-destructing. That is to say, I spent the majority of my years on this planet under the influence of various and sundry illicit substances, all of which extracted a heavy toll on my body. When I “bottom out,” as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Cocaine Anonymous—I’ve earned lifetime memberships in them all—I am a pale, gaunt, middle-aged English professor with stick-like arms and a pencil-thin neck.
My goal, other than to stay sober, is to rebuild the body I’d ravaged with booze and dope. At first all I want is to feel and look healthy, maybe tone my body and get my wind back. For the average man, achieving these goals would seem more than enough. After all, most men would kill just to lose their pot bellies, let alone add a couple of inches of muscle to their arms. And under normal circumstances, for the normal person, this is where it would stop. This is where you’re supposed to be happy with the improvements you’ve made and work now only to maintain them.
But I am not a normal person.
I have what in layman terms is called an addictive personality, and what I do, basically, is transfer my addiction to booze and dope to the seemingly healthier obsession of pumping iron.
I work out like a demon two hours a day, five days a week. I eat well. I get eight hours of sleep every night. I subscribe to Muscle & Fitness and Flex magazine. I drink foul-tasting protein shakes and spend a small fortune on body building supplements whose companies make ridiculous claims and promises when in fact their products deliver very little. After six months of intense, grueling workouts, I gain a measly seven pounds.
The solution, I think, is to work out even harder, and so I do. Longer hours. Heavier weights. After a couple of months with this approach, I actually lose several pounds and every day feel drained and worn-out, like I have a perpetual hangover. It’s called over-training, and I later learn that it has the reverse effect on muscle, causing it to weaken rather than grow.
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Adult Children of Alcoholics | Alcoholism |
Drug Dependency | Gambling |
Hoarding | Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) |
Sexual | Smoking |
Substance Abuse | Twelve-Step Programs |
The Hacking of the American Mind by Robert H. Lustig(4066)
Right Here, Right Now by Georgia Beers(3899)
Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock(3718)
Goodbye Paradise(3425)
Bad Pharma by Ben Goldacre(3074)
Happiness by Matthieu Ricard(2858)
More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations by Melody Beattie(2824)
The Social Psychology of Inequality by Unknown(2742)
Drugs Unlimited by Mike Power(2475)
The Plant Paradox by Dr. Steven R. Gundry M.D(2406)
Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella(2142)
Borders by unknow(2103)
Dry by Augusten Burroughs(1973)
Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop(1966)
Stop Being Mean to Yourself: A Story About Finding the True Meaning of Self-Love by Melody Beattie(1868)
Getting Off by Erica Garza(1848)
Yoga and the Twelve-Step Path by Kyczy Hawk(1733)
Unmasking Male Depression by Archibald D. Hart(1717)
Belonging by Unknown(1713)
